I was 14 when I first met you. A little kid from a small town with 300 bucks, high hopes and crazy dreams. It has been 17 years since then, look what I have become!
I won’t play a victim and blame you for making me who I am. Not that I am unhappy or miserable. However, what is happiness, when the things you cared for the most are no longer even your distant priority.
We fall in love with people, places, philosophies, products and pain. I fell in love with you!
You had all I could ever dream of. You were beautiful. You were resilient. You had power. You had control.
Yes, there were few scoundrels around you.
And yes, one had to battle demons and monsters to admire the real you but all that was worth every minute I got to spend with you.
I know I cheated on you a few times!
I apologize for my misconduct.
I shouldn’t have fallen in love with Kashmir.
Neither Noida, nor Gurgaon!
I shouldn’t have loved the valleys and the lakes alike.
Oh, dear Dilli, please forgive me if you could.
And look what happened.
Yes, you may smile and yes you can smile! Laugh at my misery.
This obstinacy is what always pulled me to you. Your arrogant resentment.
And, let me also tell you that I always stood by you. Apart from that one time when women were getting frequently raped, (they still do, we are just too busy staring at the unruly flowing beard) I never spoke ill about you. And for that you did punish me well. Banished me for two years. I guess that did settle the score.
It was a crazy ride. Wasn’t it!
We held hands in Chandni Chowks, Khan Markets and Connaught Places. We made love in Rajouri gardens and Kailash colonies. And oh those streets of Khirki… I will give up everything to roam in them once again.
But no, I can’t do this anymore. You broke my heart.
I can’t be around you anymore. Not that I claim that I didn’t deserve it.
Oh, I deserved all of it. And a little more. But I can’t take it anymore.
I gotta go! I gotta heal!
How else will I do the things you wanted me to do!
I am going to a different town, a different city, I will keep on moving, wandering… never ever fall in love with a place again. You taught me a valuable lesson. Never fall in love with people, places and philosophies. Never fall in love.
Thank you dear Dilli.
P.S: I hope you find someone who will love you more than me and for who you truly are – a cultured savage. And me, oh I will always be in the little pictures, the little pictures you took of me, from those non-functioning CCTVs hanging like a failed man’s balls at every corner on every street.
Love you always!